Thursday, February 23, 2012
We can't have it all: I was raised in Brazil by working parents, my Dad(...
We can't have it all: I was raised in Brazil by working parents, my Dad(...: I was raised in Brazil by working parents, my Dad(having no education) had to work two jobs, my Mom, an Elementary and High School teacher w...
I was raised in Brazil by working parents, my Dad(having no education) had to work two jobs, my Mom, an Elementary and High School teacher was always out of the house busy working. Me and my younger sister were left with nannies, I shouldn't say "left", we were taken care of by wonderful nannies, and sometimes scary ones! I remember one that we had, that would hide all the silverware in the house and force us to use our hands to eat, she didn't last very long! They did what they had to do to provide for us, and they did a great job, let me tell you. My Mom was the tough one, and my Dad was the soft one, the one that we could get away with anything with! I have fond memories of my younger years, they always took us on families Trips. My Mother being the educated one, always taught us that education was very important, that women should be independent, we didn't need anyone to support us or provide for us, we could fend for ourselves! So, it's safe to say that I grew up wanting a career,a great condo and to be able to travel all over the world. I never thought that marriage or children were for me.
Having nannies and housekeepers didn't help, in the sense that me and my sister never learned to take care of our things. We never had to wash our clothes, iron, clean the house, cook, etc... Don't take me wrong, I love my home sparkling clean, I just don't like to do it myself. I'm not a woman that takes pride in taking care of my home , and that I blame on my mother, it's her fault! And that's a contradiction that I have to live with everyday, especially being of an LDS faith. I love the Gospel, I have a testimony of it's truthfulness, but I was brought up Catholic. I'm the only member of the Church on my side of the family. I can see the difference in my friends lifestyle, the ones that were raised in the church and the ones that were not (like myself). When you are raised in the church, eternal families are the core of our beliefs, you want one, you want an eternal marriage, you want the blessings of having and raising righteous children, you want to come to this life and have a purpose, and most of of all you want to return safely back home. Being a convert has its pros and cons. I tell my friends that Heavenly Father must really love me, he let me live my life for twenty six years, tried everything, experienced a lot of things, and then introduced me to the Gospel, so I could be baptized and forgiven of all my sins, and they were many!! So I don't have that thing of wanting to stay home and take care of the kids in fact I want to work, that's how I keep my sanity.But there are times that I wish I could stay home with them.
During my teenager years I was a feminist, I wanted equal rights, not anymore, as I grow more mature I learned that Men and Women have different purposes in this life. Women in nature are more gentler, we are caregivers. That doesn't mean that if needed we won't step in to be providers too, that to me is more of a male role. Nowadays, the roles are so intertwined, as women are needed in the worforce to help pay the bills, single parenting and so on. I still believe that education is important, careers are important, but in general I don't think that we as women can have it all: a thriving career and raise a family at the same time. We can try and we can think that we are doing it, but sometimes we wind up neglecting ourselves or our children when we take on more then we can handle. Its hard, I know, but let's not beat ourselves up, let's do our best in the circunstances that we are and let the Lord take care of the rest.
Having nannies and housekeepers didn't help, in the sense that me and my sister never learned to take care of our things. We never had to wash our clothes, iron, clean the house, cook, etc... Don't take me wrong, I love my home sparkling clean, I just don't like to do it myself. I'm not a woman that takes pride in taking care of my home , and that I blame on my mother, it's her fault! And that's a contradiction that I have to live with everyday, especially being of an LDS faith. I love the Gospel, I have a testimony of it's truthfulness, but I was brought up Catholic. I'm the only member of the Church on my side of the family. I can see the difference in my friends lifestyle, the ones that were raised in the church and the ones that were not (like myself). When you are raised in the church, eternal families are the core of our beliefs, you want one, you want an eternal marriage, you want the blessings of having and raising righteous children, you want to come to this life and have a purpose, and most of of all you want to return safely back home. Being a convert has its pros and cons. I tell my friends that Heavenly Father must really love me, he let me live my life for twenty six years, tried everything, experienced a lot of things, and then introduced me to the Gospel, so I could be baptized and forgiven of all my sins, and they were many!! So I don't have that thing of wanting to stay home and take care of the kids in fact I want to work, that's how I keep my sanity.But there are times that I wish I could stay home with them.
During my teenager years I was a feminist, I wanted equal rights, not anymore, as I grow more mature I learned that Men and Women have different purposes in this life. Women in nature are more gentler, we are caregivers. That doesn't mean that if needed we won't step in to be providers too, that to me is more of a male role. Nowadays, the roles are so intertwined, as women are needed in the worforce to help pay the bills, single parenting and so on. I still believe that education is important, careers are important, but in general I don't think that we as women can have it all: a thriving career and raise a family at the same time. We can try and we can think that we are doing it, but sometimes we wind up neglecting ourselves or our children when we take on more then we can handle. Its hard, I know, but let's not beat ourselves up, let's do our best in the circunstances that we are and let the Lord take care of the rest.
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